"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. philosopher, poet, essayist
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"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. philosopher, poet, essayist
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March 12, 2010 | |||||||
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 Talking Across Our Generations Amy Gautschi March 1, 2000 Grandparents tell the best stories. Their stories remind us the ways our world has changed, connect us across generations, and teach us things about ourselves. When's the last time you took a minute to have a heart to heart with a grandparent or a grandchild? NEW Reader Responses are a goodthing! Follow along by clicking here. Contribute your thoughts in the "Talking Across Our Generations" conversation below. Dear fellow GoodLetter readers, It was October 1941, and World War II raged through Europe. Worlds away, a young man with sparkling blue eyes and a warm smile was not yet thinking about war -- he was thinking about a football game. His buddy, Jack, had asked a favor of him: would he fill in as a blind date for the best friend of Jack's girlfriend and join them for the big game at UCLA? Jack's girlfriend and her friend had come down from Berkeley for the weekend, but the blind date Jack had arranged for his sweetheart's friend had cancelled at the last minute. The young man, who was actually engaged to be married, agreed to help out his friend. As it turned out, his date, a young Mexican-Irish woman, was beautiful, charming and witty. Unexpectedly, he was immediately taken with her. At the end of the game, he turned to Jack and said, "I've just met the woman I'm going to marry." And he did. They fell in love and were married just five months before he left for Germany and the war. That young man was my grandfather. I love this tale about him and how he met my grandmother. When I first heard it after he died, I felt as if I had been given a gift. True, I am a romantic at heart, but that wasn't the only reason. This story also reminded me that my grandparents became my grandparents partially because my grandfather was his own person. Breaking off his previous engagement and then marrying my grandmother afterwards was a bold move that must have caused quite a stir and upset at least a few people, but he chose to follow the path he felt was right for him. I admire my grandfather for remaining true to his identity. Although his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps by attending college at his alma mater and then becoming a doctor, my grandfather felt that was not the right thing for him. Despite the fact that his father was going to cut him off financially, he decided to pursue his studies elsewhere. He worked his way through college via various odd jobs, including manual labor, rather than give in to his father's ideas of what he should do with his life. And that was just it. It was his life, and he was going to live it the way he saw fit. Taking this rough road was not always the most sensible way to go. For example, when my grandfather first started college, he was so enthralled by all the wonderful, fascinating books in the library that he spent far too much time reading them instead of doing the work for his classes. He paid for this later, but at least the choice was his -- and the possibilities were endless. Not only was individuality important to my grandfather in his own life, but it was also something that he encouraged in others. Whatever it was that you were interested in or working on, he always wanted to hear about it and cheer you on. As I sit here thinking about the upcoming anniversary of my grandparents' wedding, I smile to myself and remember what I learned from this generous man -- lessons that I hope someday to share with my own children. Once when I was a baby, my family was gathered around me discussing whom I looked like. Some said I resembled my father, some my mother, but my grandfather said, "She looks like herself." Amy Gautschi (e-mail Amy) Seattle, Washington A few of Amy's favorite goodthings: Seeing orcas and bottlenose dolphins frolic in the wild; playing field hockey; laughing with family and friends; fresh, organic strawberries; summer; writing, singing and recording songs; dancing; the blanket of silence made by newly fallen snow; castles; snuggling on the couch with my husband and our dog; Maine TALK ABOUT IT What's the best story a grandparent ever told you? Or do you have another goodthing you want to share? Write us your own GoodLetter. LEARN ABOUT IT The AARP has great resources for grandparents. What do you know about National Grandparents Day (you didn't miss it!)? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT Get excellent tips on how to be a better long-distance grandparent. Or get a few ideas on things you can teach or do with grandkids. BONUS: GOOD GRAVY "Grand-Stories: 101+ Bridges of Love Joining Grandparents and Grandkids." Get your copy. And might we pass you a little more good gravy? Readers Respond Want to share your thoughts or ideas with other people who care about good things? Send 'em our way. Dear goodthings, In honor of grandparents and all they do, let's focus on the grandparents raising their grandchildren. A support group I attend has a grandmother, Sandra, who is raising her three grandchildren. She has legal custody of them and their adoption will be complete at the end of the month. She provides her "grand" children with a loving supportive home, which must be extremely challenging, to say the least. Not only does this incredible woman love and support these kids but she obtained custody the day before her husband had a fatal heart attack. After she lost her husband, Sandra realized that the kids had been emotionally and mentally neglected and needed counseling. She has dealt with behavioral issues and border-line abuse from the oldest child, who is incredibly tall/large for his age (13). Not only has she had these issues to deal with but also has recently fought a battle with breast cancer. Sandra is incredibly strong and determined to give the children a secure/stable environment at the sacrifice of her grandparenthood. Because she doesn't have the ability to return the children, she doesn't have the luxury of being Grandma. I would love to see her recognized for her sacrifice, integrity, and ability to love.
Deborah |
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